My birthday!

One Year Older, I am very grateful to God for the journey so far! Indeed I am blessed!

Curtain Call 2.0

Tis been a hot minute since I posted my mind up here, even hotter seeing as this city is blazing hot temp wise. In a week I will be exiting the decade I’ve come to love and enjoy…my twenties!!!!! I know some of you spring chickens are feeling all comfy like ‘too bad so sad, I got me another 2 years or more to go’, first of all, ain’t nothing bad about getting older, secondly I am not sad about leaving Twentyville, and thirdly you’re gonna get there too and one young hotsy totsy will be smirking at you so carry on, I will be here with my gloaters club sipping on a virgin daiquiri waiting for you when that time comes mmmkay?!

I won’t lie, the Twenties have been terrific for the most part, it has been such a rollercoaster for me in every area of my life- I don’t think there’s one area of my life that hasn’t been affected through this period I’d like to call the A-level Teenage Years. I am certainly not that nineteen year old on the cusp of 20 wondering what the next ten years would bring, I already know now and I can say to 19 year old me, you have no idea what you’re in for, just enjoy the ride!

I asked a friend recently how she felt turning the big 3 0 and she said it didn’t feel any different to being 29, I for one believe her seeing as she’s not grown a new head or turned into Medusa, its just the societal pressure of not having some areas on lock down before 30 that makes twenty niners go into the 30s kicking and screaming for their mommies, I see every birthday as a blessing, I am excited about it and I am so thankful for each year that comes because it does get more wonderful-er for me.

Now what have I learnt? Sit with me young(er) grasshopper and let me give you some tales of my twenties

– School is important, not to sound preachy but in this day and age education is key, not just talking about formal education, be clued up on what’s going on around you.

– The boy/girl you were going gaga over in the early 20s, not to be a cynic but I give you 6 months you don’t give a damn about them, don’t kill yourself cos one boy is making your heart pound like yam, don’t make any rash ‘forever’ promises, often times you will regret it.

– Flying the nest is good….sometimes you fly, sometimes life pushes you out. Living away from home is a great idea to build your character and know your boundaries. I know I know some of us have no choice and we need to be at home, I won’t rag on that, especially with rent being what it is in Abuja, if my folks had a home there you best be sure I’mma hotfoot it to them and stay….after we have drawn up a contract on when I can come home and that any man who comes to see me will not have to fear for his life. Living alone makes you responsible by force, like when you get home to a leaky tap and you have to tie nylons around it so it looks like it has a turban on (#truestory) till the next morning before you can call a plumber? You’re not leaving it for ‘Popsie’ to fix….now I know why Mom was so handy with a hammer and why I should have paid more attention in my Design & Technology classes

– Friends (and some family members) really do come and go. I can count on one hand how many friends that have stayed in my life throughout this decade. There are friends that in the moment with them you feel you’re unbreakable and will be together forever but then what ties you together loosens e.g. school ends, you change jobs, someone goes for Masters, soon they will be nothing but a Facebook friend lost in the myriad of the 2000 friends you have. Its fine. We meet people for a season or for a lifetime, it is what it is. You won’t mourn the loss of every friend like that, some its a natural fading, others its an abrupt end, but life goes on, and you won’t lose ’em all

– Your emotions will be all over the place. This is one of the reasons why I say the Twenties are A-Level Teenage Years. Especially in the area of relationships, your intensity is affected a great deal by the youth you imagine is on your side. Its like we walk around with a ruler to see who meets our standards, remember as you dey hol’ ya ruler, I dey hol’ my own too- all join abi not? You will love, you will fall out of it, you will do crazy stupid things in the name of love and six months later wonder what the hell you were on while you did it for someone who was not worth it. You start to have friends who are getting married and all of a sudden every uncle, aunty, grandmother, twice removed and recently reinstated cousin begins to ask ‘oya who is your boy/girl friend?’ I used to think women were the only one dealing with the pressure, turns out guys too get it just as bad now. Suddenly every visitor of the opposite sex is a suspect, and you have to explain why that guy cannot be your man seeing as he has been happily married to a Swedish foreign exchange student since 4 years ago! Emotions are in this decade, driven by youth and learning some new experiences which will make you wanna scream! Don’t go around screaming….they will commit you to a mental institution if you do.

-Understand the difference between 20-24 and 25-29, in the early twenties somethings are cute, you can still slide by based on the ignorance of youth, pull the same stunt in your mid to late twenties and you will either get slapped, slapped some more, or pregnant. A time will come when some mistakes you carried over from your teenage years become played out and out of date, you really do have to grow up and start being responsible.

-Know what you stand for. In time you will start to develop your own voice, your own style and your personality becomes a lot more advanced. You have to set your principles during this decade, know what you can and can’t do either for love, for money, or for the love of money. You won’t fully grasp it but start understanding yourself. Don’t be afraid to take a stand for what you believe in, believe in something, it anchors you. Wherever that belief takes you, accept it, own it, and if need be retrace your steps and redo.

– Get a job, start a business. By early to mid twenties you’re probably done with uni (unless you are a current beneficiary of the Great ASUU Strike of 2013 currently ongoing), it is not too early to start making an impact on your world. If you are done with Uni, by all means get a job or start a business, or combine both. My job is my 9-5, my businesses are my 5-9 #nodulling. I don’t depend on either as my source- God is my source, but the job provides me with capital and a good insurance for my businesses, I can learn on my job how to run my own business better (you know how sometimes your boss does something and you think if it were you you would do different? Well it can be you if you start your OWN thing….not create a hostile take over situation hereby removing your boss from a business he built with his hardwork and sweat, that is a baaaad tin to do!). My businesses give me a great creative outlet and work towards my empire building goal. By 26 Mark Zuckerberg was worth billions from a business he started in University, and you are there arguing with your mates about who is better Wizkid or Davido…..stay dulling y’hear?! If you start a business in your 20s and are committed to it, give it another ten years, you should be rrroooolllling in it!

– There will be pressure. In certain areas of life. Such pressure comes from comparing yourself to other people, so what if all your friends are popping babies, working in oil companies and ring finger blinging- don’t run ahead of your time. Focus on being the best of you, commit your ways and plans to God and let Him have His Way….oh and don’t give God any ultimatum, you can’t bully God. Just learn to chill and not get too stressed about it, your turn will come, even if its not in the 20s like you expected, its all good, life goes on and it will come!

– Your parents begin to morph into some sort of parent-friend over this decade. Why? You understand them better, you’re  likely in that age when they popped you out, so you understand them better. If it seems that they are yelling and screaming at you, its because they don’t want you to make the mistakes they made at that age. Now they know better and they don’t want such history repeating itself- they don’t often realize that sometimes you just need to make your own mistakes and learn from it. Its okay to be friends with your parents, but don’t forget their position as your parent, they can still donate a slap to your face if you are sassy.

-Use your head, think. Take risks but be smart about it- calculate your risk well.

Remember you won’t get everything right instanta, you will goof, and deal with things that are simply unfair, but you just have to go through them. Its a constant evolution so don’t be afraid of change.

Above all, live each day with thanksgiving, be ready to learn and handle experiences whether good or bad, and always have hope for tomorrow that even if its just for one moment, it does get better.

So here is to my fabulous, incredible, sometimes confusing but highly entertaining 20s, I have laughed, cried, danced, been giddy, been upset, been so many things but of a truth I am infinitely better now than I was then.

 

Happy birthday in a week to me, bring on the Thirties! Its going to be incredible!

 

 

 

 

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