Its a little hard to escape that this is Valentine’s week, hardly a day goes by that I don’t see a post/tweet about Valentine’s Day. Personally I am unbothered so this is not a spew or diatribe of ‘woe is me’. First of all no woes for me, and secondly if you know what I know you would be unbothered too. I share the opinion of love being a 24/7 expression, if your Boo is only buying you gifts [yeah ladies straight looking at you too] and tells you ‘I love you’ only on that day then you’ve got waaaay bigger problems than you acknowledge.
On this day however there is a spectrum of thoughts going on the minds of the single folk- this creates a spectrum of behaviours which range from the hilarious to the weird.
There will be a set of singles who will be trying to prove that they’re happy today. You know the militant ‘girl I don’t need no man to make me happy’ squad, so they do singles only activities, post up a billion selfies and hashtag it with loads of Beyonce ‘pre Jay-Z and Blue Ivy’ lyrics. Hey nothing wrong with showing you are not bothered but please do not be militant about it- we get it, you’re happy being single.
There will be those who will choose today to wail about how they haveth no boo. Wailing about being boo-less will not paint a good picture of you. It is what it is, your boo could be one DM/Like/Whatsapp chat away. Its just one day contrived by society to celebrate love, if you look around there’s probably someone making cow eyes at you wishing you would love them. Smile, don’t whine and get on with the day, its a Sunday- how about you tell God thank you? Its not all thorns honey, see the roses. Don’t wear the expression of a freshly baptised cat, get happy! You can eat a lot of chocolates though if you’re not sure how to be happy- chocolates work wonders for my mood especially ones like Ferrero Rocher or Godiva.
There are those who are ashamed to have no Valentine, so they will send cards and gifts to themselves in the name of an imaginary incrediBOO- so where your friend suspiciously got a gift from a John who seems to have materialised from Google you might wanna check her story [if you have nothing productive doing with your life enough to be an FBI i.e. Fake Boo Inspector]. Being by yourself on this one day is not the end of your world and is nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to prove to nobody about anything. If anyone feels sanctimonious and wanna look down on you cos you’re not in a relationship at the moment, that is their headache wrapped in a hangover. Keep your money for when she/he turns up it will be worth it, trust me. If you wanna buy yourself something you go on and get that Samsung s6 Edge + and tell the world you spent YOUR money on YOURself, any further enquiries- talk to God. When you enter the mode of desperation you will attract all sorts of rats, all sorts of creatures who have no business being around you a man/woman of timber and calibre. You expose yourself to vultures who will prey on you and clean you out of mind, body and soul. You deserve better than this. Channel your feelings into a productive way- music, art, science, dog sledding, don’t get down on yourself IT.IS.JUST.A.DAY
We will have a subset of singles who truly don’t remember it is Valentine’s Day because they have scheduled a thousand meetings and money activities on that day, they’re on their grind after all the Pink Range Rover Sport 2016 edition will not buy itself abi? Make that bread so we can break bread [I am not a rapper, I promise!]. Like a quote I saw one time which says ‘I’m so busy that I don’t know if I lost my horse or found a rope’. Can’t blame them though- no romance without finance. After all you cannot buy Pampers with kisses or formula with hugs.
There will be that sensible set who are aware it is Valentine’s Day and they are not trying to post a thousand ‘I love me’ photos, send themselves cards, busy being busy or pretend like its not happening, but they’re like ‘Hey Valentine, I see you over there- do your thing honey, I got you next year’. They return ‘happy Valentine’s Day’ greetings, do not burst into tears at the sight of a box of chocolates and are in the moment of every experience of that day. Yeah they would have loved to be boo-ed up in time for the day but as its not so they’re not mad at life. The way this life is set up, they understand they could very much be in love full steam next February so why stress? The year is young, things will change.
For the singles with boos [whether own or borrowed] the dilemma of ‘what to buy’ is real. I feel for the guys who this year will receive either socks, singlet, or boxers [if she really loves you you get all or 2 out of 3] after buying Peruvian wave colour 1 with 6 months salary. Money helps love but its not all that love comprises of. Oga do what you can afford; if all you can afford is a hug, honey hug it out! Remember that bills are due on the 15th. Love is not about a collection of mementos [which should not be used as an excuse for stingy singles to get out of getting a gift they can afford, come on my friend spend that cash!], it is a soul connection.
There is a unique subset of ‘taken’ single females who will be hoping for that bling. You have been with him for 10,000 years, seen every shade of his BS that you could possibly imagine [he has more to show you btw], you knew him when Moses was in the basket on the Nile, yet mandem is looking as if they just unfroze him from a block of ice, looking like a deer caught in the headlights every time the M word is mentioned. Sistren- do well and live your life. I have learnt one thing out of many in this area- you cannot force commitment from a man or woman who just isn’t ready. Assess things, be realistic enough on what you’re both feeling and make sure you’re both on the same wavelength. Enjoy Valentine’s Day for what it is, don’t give yourself hypertension because Oga hyperventilates every time he sees a gele.
For the married folks- let today not be the only day you let your spouse know you love them please. Romance is not just for 18 year olds, go out with each other, date each other, write that romantic letter to him/her, don’t say ‘oh I’m too old for this, or its not for people like us’, buy flowers if she’s not the flowers type then find her thing and put a bow on it [a Pink Bentley is my thing, you can hold the bow thank you very much!]. Same for the ladies please do not buy him another tie, boxers, cufflinks, singlet…. no, no, no, and are you kidding me??? Think outside the box, love is creative (Christian Louboutin is still making some baaad shoes for the guys too, I don’t know any man with blood in his veins who would turn his nose up at one of such wonders) .
Whatever you choose to do make sure it is what you want to do. Be authentic to the precious, incredible, wonderful, oh so fabuloso you God has designed you to be. Remember the One who loves you enough to die for you, this is love without expiry dates, love that was not borne out of what you did but simply because it is love. Don’t choose that day to be miserable, to hate, to cry, to be depressed, and to ask God ‘why wasn’t that one who got the hot babe to say yes, or got the ring bling from that perfect guy?’. Be in the moment, enjoy the life you’re given, know that there is more to whatever it is you’re seeing right now. Singles don’t be with someone just so you can shout ‘I have boo too’ on Valentine’s Day. Love is many things it is not pain, heart ache, abusive, mind/soul numbingly crippling, it is not being uncertain whether or not they’re on your squad or not, it is not losing your sense of self worth or crossing oceans for a partner who would not jump a teaspoon for you; in the words of Gwyneth Paltrow ‘consciously uncouple’ from that nonsense.
See enjoy the day, and for some people who truly don’t get what the fuss is about, happy Sunday honey- live long, prosper, and enjoy your Sunday lunch.